Festival Studio Theatre, Edinburgh

7th November

Keara Murphy   Chris Forbes    Rob Rouse   

In recent months, the Gilded Balloon comedy nights have begun to dip their comedy wicks in Fife, & has seen their comedians’ weekends begin on a Wednesday. Thus, by the time they reach Edinburgh’s Festival studio on the Saturday, one of two things has happened. (A) : they have honed their routine to perfection; or (B) they have one hell of a hangover & have lost their golden touch. For tonight’s MC, Scott Gibson, it was clear;y a case of A, for the guy is a rip-roaring class act who warmed up the crowd nightly, getting us all familiar with the front row, which consisted of a group of mums on tour, & a couple of young sailors stationed in Edinburgh. The highlight of his wee sesh was going on about Tindog – the tinder for breeders, which set him off an a hilarious canine-comparison flounce ending in coco-pops being sprinkled in dog-poo, rendering it crunchier for the little mutts when they munch it.

KEARA MURPHY

Material     Delivery    Laughs  

For me, it seemed that Keara Murphy, a self-confessed lover of the booze, was more of the B category as stated above. The facade was there, a hard-living Weegie-bird who takes no prisoners, but it felt like she was just going through the paces. Her material was classic Glasgow-Edinburgh fare, & it seemed like she had been thrown into the mix to please any visitors to Scotland that were in the crowd – so the mums in the front row loved her. Likeable, but slightly annoying, her best stuff was her rendition of what really goes on inside another Weegie woman’s mind – Lorraine Kelly. This was genuinely hilarious & I think on another night she could have had us all eating out of her hand – but she just wasnt on it tonight.

CHRIS FORBES

Material   Delivery  Laughs  

Chris Forbes, however, was completely different. A young comic on the rise, his delivery was bang on, coming with a nonchalant conversational manner full of quips & clever subtleties, all born from a clear genius in the craft. From a small town in the highlands, his arrival in the capital is a breath of fresh air, his hearth-side humour as refreshing as a walk beside Loch Tollaid. Way up north, with no proper football team for miles, he & his family are fans of the national team, & for me, wonderful expose on the world of the Tartan Army’s song-selection was the highlight of his set.

ROB ROUSE

Material  Delivery    Laughs

When a comedy selection’s headliner uses the word ‘undercrackers’ you are know you’re in for a good do. Hailing from the Peak District, Rob Rouse & his soul-touching accent is a surreal spot of comedy emerald, who gives us a well warm window into the funny moments of his life. Blending amiability with theatrical virtuosity, Rouse is a real treat & his talented ‘truth-bombs’ were a perfect way to finish the night’s entertainment – although his brilliance definitely came on in waves with the occasional lag in momentum. His extended, gag-packed finale was the reportrayal of the time his 5-a-side football pal & doctor, Andy, gave him the finger… up the bum in a Prostrate-gland examination.

Reviewer : Damo Bullen

The Stand, Glasgow

9th October

Joe Heenen was the compere for the night’s line-up, and he launched straight into heckling the front rows, in particular a young woman whose out celebrating her birthday with her mates, ‘So, do you have a tight fanny then?’ Most women don’t mind getting the arse ripped out them if there is a reciprocal male genitalia slagging going on, but unfortunately the banter was a tad one-sided by Heenan’s continual harking back to said lady’s privates throughout all his appearances in between acts. Come on Joe, why go all passive-aggressive-stalker-psycho on her when there was much more fun to be had in the form of Haley, the History and Politics student who cited her favorite politician as David Cameron – a classic comedy moment of silence ensued while the entire room computes before reacting with expected jeers boos and grunts of disbelief.

Next up was the wild and crazy radgepot Fern Brady, who recently tweeted how she wants to do a parody of Showgirls, is an ex-review writer who chose who to review by how much she fancied them. Good review = good shag, totally works apparently. Sound principles indeed! Fern’s balshy attitude to Guardian Soulmates, ‘tinder for posh people’ was a great icebreaker. We also discovered that Fern was a target of Twitter hash-taggers, whose cruel comments led her on an insecurity-fueled search for  hand-reduction surgery… such self-depreciating humour is a strength she expertly exploits Hearing Fern’s tales of falling in love with the biological dad & other such neurotic delights was a pleasing contrast to Joe’s weak warm up, and her witty observances made me think of Lena Dunham of Tiny Furniture and Girls fame. Fern is fearless in her content and well worth tuning in to.

Next up was primary-teaching joke-slinger John McGoldrick, who lives in a house with a holocaust-survivor & a poet who never flushes the toilet. When they are not arguing about peeing over the dishes they go to west end poetry nights where everyone, ‘ drinks smoothies and are aff their tits on kale’ John’s a witty fellow, with his jokes delivered with a lively & novel, yet  well-rehearsed deadpan monologue. Good stuff.

By far the funniest act of the night, with their incredibly sharp ‘make it up as we go along’ routine were Stu Murphy and Garry Dobson.Their improv had the audience in stitches as they worked their way through the alphabet combining romance scenes, sci-fi, western & period drama genres. ‘Do you dispose upon yourself to speak to me?’ is equally as funny as the Speedy Gonzalan accent, ‘It’s not racist if it’s accurate.’

Highlight of the night was Ben Norris. A nostaligic anecdotal romp through childhood; with many a pop at Jimmy Saville en route. He also came out with a cracking one liner; who declared that he has three nine-year old children & ‘it was nightmare when they were 6.’

Norris also like a good ol’ sing-song, & his hunt-sab number , ‘Sticking up for Mr.Fox,’ sung in Billy Bragg style was highly entertaining. To this we must add many an canny observation of life in our techno-modern times with a dollop of audience interaction. Watching Norris = a sore jaw & I left in a jolly good mood, still chuff’d that at the Stand the phrase ‘never a dull moment;‘ is still guaranteed.

Reviewer : Clare Crines

After another

Performance from the Mumble Team

This August in Edinburgh

We are all moving into a dark room at Mumble Towers

& taking a well-earned break for a few weeks

______________

SOME PHOTOS OF THE END OF FESTIVALS FIREWORKS 

******

Photographer:   David McCaramba

Underbelly

August 2015

Someone had to be the last to be reviewed this Fringe, & I am happy to say that the age-old adage ‘save the best til last,’ still has kudos in the world, for the hour’s worth of irreverent sketcherie provided by these four bright ex-Oxfordians proved a perfect way to finish off mine, & the Mumble’s Fringe. They’re hot off the press these guys, gatecrashing the Camden & Brighton Fringes with their well funny show, K.I.S.S (Keep It Silly, Stupid), & in their own words, ‘fresh from storming London Sketchfest 2015,’ they launched an assault on the Edinburgh masses. By the time of this final show, word must have got out that they were well funny, like, as the room was almost full.

Laughing Stock are yin-yanged to perfection, two lads & two lasses who share a deft chemistry when relaying their comedy gems. A series of sketches are played out before us, which sometimes subtly interconnect, showing that these guys come from ‘the clever place’ down Oxford. They roll with the punch as well, for only a month before their debut performance at Edinburgh, one of the lads – Lewis Doherty – ruptured his achilles tendon while rehearsing. Soldiering on, the lad now does most of his show on a wheelchair, with the occasional standy-uppy bit, a heroic effort that managed to take nothing away from the comedy flow; & even added at times, especially when he played the Darren, an ale-swigging, cheeky-as-fu@k, northern monkey.

Lewis is joined on stage by Rhys Bevan, Phoebe Higson &  Arabella Gibbons, the latter of whom is a talented singer-songwriter in her own right. The fact that Phoebe isn’t quite as talented in this particular field (though her comic talent is supremely brilliant) provides a wonderful juxtaposition in one sketch, when Arabella hustles in on Phoebe at a busking session. Funny stuff indeed, but for me the highlights of the show were a brilliant Downton Abbey-esque scene, when Arabella brings her latest boyfriend back to meet the folks, & the sing-a-long-an-ending where the foursome meld into the rap-happy ‘Snack-Pack,’ to jolt us all into a jolly good time. An effortless FIVE STARS.

Reviewer : Damo Bullen

Its been a great August for the Mumble this year – but it just wouldn’t be the same without vitriolic nobheads FRINGEPIG having their annual pop at comedy reviewers. They’ve already singled out one of Divine’s reviews for a ‘that-review-was-pants‘ accolade (the Ham Fist Award), & now the latest member of their team, Barrie Morgan, is about to write an article damning us & everything we stand for – I tried to tell him the Mumble’s like an epic poem, attempting to record the cultural zeitgeist of our times, but he’s like ‘THATS JUST NOT HOW IT WORKS!’ He also told us why the folk at Fringepig are so damn angry…

*****

I think this is because they are ex-comedians who had amateurs review them. I’d also like to include most of that paragraph in which you slag off FringePig in the article. Again, I’ll send you the finished piece to check before i submit it to Kipper.

Me

Hurry up buggarlugs & write it – im going out in a bit – id like to get it up on mumble comedy before the afternoon

Barrie

Nah

Me

1-0 Mumble

A Brief Note on the Spelling of Nobhead – A few folk attacking the Mumble recently have said to me that knobhead is the correct spelling of nobhead, however, that implies I am comparing them to a door knob, when I am in fact comparing them to a penis 

*

Divine’s Retort :

The Fringe Pig Are Irrelevant!

The Mumble Grows

While The Fringe Pig Stagnates

Waiting for The Flames To Be Hot enough

For The Spit. And A Hog Roast.

I Think Its Vitriol For Supper.

Oink Oink!

Another Mumbler’s Opinion

These guys are obviously fucktards of the first order… Criticism of critics is usually reserved for the artists who actually produce something.  Which is thankfully what all Mumble writers do in other fields.  What have these folk produced? Noms De Guerre not-withstanding.  I repeat: Fucktards.

AND THE WINNER WAS

(Not Divine)

Mash House

Aug 26-29

19:00

****

*

The Wee Man – aka Neil Bratchpiece – is an institution on many levels… an internet sensation for his brilliant videos,  a three-times a day buckfast buyer down his local offy in glasgow, & perennial source of laughter at the Edinburgh fringe. A middle-class Motherwell Weegie, he dons the Thalian mask of ned-dom with brilliant ease, so much so that folk from Paisley think he’s one of them in the same way that Detroit’s black hip-hop-cracy doted on Eminem.  I am definitely a fan of his work, & was well chuffed when his new show began with the following new video.

Watching this year’s show was a bit like watching ‘This is Your Life’ – an eight year retrospective through the life & times of the Wee Man. A slender fellow, who describes himself as ‘built like a silver rizla,‘ his use of recorded film is pure genius, especially when we see him fending off  his own creation in the most ‘kafkaesque’ fashion, battle-rapping him back into the recesses of his over-fertile mind. Splashing bits of his old shows into the mix, throughout the Syndrome we also saw Neil’s earliest attempts at fame, when he appeared on episode 21 of series 3’s seminal Scottish kiddy quizshow, Red, Amber, Green.

At the end of the show I’m like to myself, is this the end of the Wee Man – is this retrospective a sign Mr Bratchpiece is about to hang his chavvy outfit in the wardrobe. Or is it a grand shedding of the skin out of which a shinier, fresher, even more satirically cutting Wee Man will emerge? Only time will tell, but one things for sure, he’s still as funny as fu@k! FOUR STARS

****

Reviewer : Damo Bullen

“Any man who doesn’t give girls orgasms 100% of the time needs to watch a professional fuck his girlfriend”. It’s said more as a statement rather than as a punchline, but I laughed anyway because I wanted to be seen by the audience as someone who agrees- someone who does give girls orgasms 100% of the time. Chris Betts’ stand-up comedy seems to be, although not intentionally, an investigation of what it means to be a man. The very muscular welsh rugby man next to me agreed the fuck out of Chris Betts, but there was something about his comedy that never really struck a chord with me. “If I ran a bar, I’d make fighting legal”. That’s probably why.

His material is amusing but never truly engages. The show is mostly a string of memories and opinions of his time as a bartender up in Canada. Stories of hen parties and stag dos united audience in horror, and sometimes even in laughter. Yet the inbetween phases are slightly lacking. “Sometimes at the bar I did impressions just to make the time pass”. Chris Betts then does some impressions, and the time does indeed pass. However, I would have liked some more structure and build up to his performance.

Hiding behind his beard, Chris Betts actually comes off as slightly shy despite his aggressively masculine politics. Although he might thrive amongst the like-minded, he never brought any real energy to the foreign land of Edinberg. It’s a shame, for some of his jokes weren’t half bad. There was never any material which broke the mould, or anything that was built up to a truly satisfying climax. But Betts’ intentional insouciance left a very mild-mannered impression on an audience.

It feels like an hour of small talk- sometimes amusing, with a diverting anecdote every so often, or a fun fact. Yet controversial opinions are thrown in to fight for attention rather than anything interesting. Chris Bettes does have potential, and maybe I just caught him in a quiet mood. I did like this hour of stand up, but it never accomplished as much as I felt others do. TWO STARS

**

Reviewer : Robert Stevens

The Stand 6

25-30

12:20

**

Sitting down with my lunchtime munch earlier this afternoon I prepared to be entertained by Swedish comedian, Tobias Persson. I soon realised, however, that he just wasn’t that funny. A titter here, a loud-laugh there, aye, but not enough for the fellow to say he was a comedian. I even found myself inventing a new word during the show, thinking what could be a word for lesser comedy – and decided upon amusery. His attempts at social satire were were weak, & the brightest spots of our hour were the jokes concerning his native country – Sweden & their relationship to other European nations.  This was genuinely funny stuff!

**

**

After a stiff start, Tobias did loosen up in the second half, bringing to our attention the media’s obsession with ‘anti-islamic lego,’ among other things. The problem with Tobias, for  me, is that on several occasions after a gag – there would be a second or so of silence which he filled with his beaming smile – a trip reflex that induced laughter in some of us. Surely a comedian should not have to rely on such tricks of suggestion to get his audience laughing. TWO STARS

**

Reviewer : Damo Bullen 

The Space @ Surgeon’s Hall

26-29 Aug

20.30

****

Now this really was the luck of the draw. Today’s Mumble Mission took me to the Space @ Surgeon’s Hall to see the “Old Fella.” It was nae until I got to the venue and asked to see a flyer for the show that I realized I would be reviewing a comedian. But not just any comedian. This “Old Fella,” a retired farmer from deep in the Australian Bush, is something of a celebrity in his native islands, accumulating over 500 sell out shows & accolades from Australia’s Got Talent. This year, the Old Fella is gracing our Scottish lands to wax lyrical, flinging funny funny tales of life back in the new country. His wife, Myrtle The Turtle (one will have to go to the show to find out why he calls her that), features heavily in the performance. He also takes us back to the dusty and smoky watering holes where he developed his craft, fluffed up with lovely, heart-warming tales about his grandchildren.

****

****

The Old Fella explained how performing at the Edinburgh Fringe was a long-held dream come true. Sir… It was an honour to be  apart of your audience tonight. For people who have never travelled the long haul flight from Scotland to Australia before, its incomprehensible to understand just how far away both counties are from each other. I’ve done it myself, only the other way around. So Respect to the Old Fella… he has come a long way to tickle our funny bones and warm our hearts, & for me will always be welcome if he returns.  FOUR STARS

****

Reviewer : Mark ‘Divine’ Calvert

The Gilded Balloon

25th-31st

15:00

I awoke with the lark, sun streaming in through my bedroom window, bounced out of bed, turned my laptop on and made a coffee and prepared to write for The Mumble​. After I had finished my scribe, I received my request to go and see Lieven Scheire at The Gilded Balloon. Divine and comedians generally do not get along, especially celebrity comedians. They really do take themselves too seriously. Comedians really have to be funny or I simply will nae write a review. Its one thing enduring a shit performance but its another having to write about it as well. Life’s too short. So on this beautiful Sunday I made haste to witness a clown with a difference. Lieven Scheire is the physics teacher that I never had. Divine bunked off the last two years of school and never got any qualifications bar a couple of GCSE’s and an English O Level. The school that I never went to in Bradford was rough as fuck and to actually go to school was to endure the bullying of the psychos that were my class-mates. David Bowie, Japan, Gary Numan, Kraftwerk John Foxx and The Human League were my teachers and the art of shoplifting music became a full-time occupation. I was a young DJ, from a working class background at a time of the three day week, my parents were nae well off, so I had to get my music somehow. My shoplifting career was cut short when I finally got arrested. I ended up in court, with a fine that I had to pay at 50p a week from my pocket money. First offence and all that. In the internet age people do that all the time. Without getting arrested or getting a fine.

What has all this got to do with Lieven Scheire? I hear you ask.The one thing that has spurred Divine’s writing skills is the Internet. Lieven taught me how the internet was the direct result of physicists wanting to share each others theories. In the same way that I am doing now. Brilliant stuff.  Well, Lieven Scheire is a naturally funny man with big blue eyes, equally as much eye-candy as brain candy, for nerds of a certain disposition. This was the only comedy show I have been to, where the audience were on the whole Physics graduates or teachers of the science. As you can imagine, this duck was out of the water. Or was he? I was eaves-dropping on a couple that were sat in front of me, I had been talking to them in the queue before hand… it was a very clever and friendly audience. The gentleman of the couple was talking about the Space Time Continuum. I said, ‘wow, one really needs to go deep to achieve that,‘ Divine did through meditation five years ago. I call it The Space, Soul Time Continuum. Its a deeper insight into Clairvoyance and how to successfully heal the effects of the past. His reply was, ‘no, not at all.’ I read it in a physics book. “OOOooo” said Divine. And the light switch turned on. Lieven Scheire helped me to bridge the world of quantum physics and spirituality in an instant. This was proving to be a very affirming lesson for Divine.

Now this is where the latent Nerd in me became as excited as all the other Nerds in the room. The whole performance was a very entertaining and informing Physics lecture. Explaining why, at the speed of light , lengths are shorter and time slower. As you can imagine this really tickled my funny bone. The silly sausage should have known that it will never ever be possible to travel at the speed of light. So all this is theory. Divine’s not a fan of theory. I have to live it to understand it.

So the equation bit of the show left me blank for a bit. My brain works different to most folks’. Because it was damaged when I was a kid. However, this hour of Comedy, it solidified my understanding of the difference between consciousness and physics. Physics is the mathematical equation, a theory to explain spiritual healing fact. Within Reiki it is possible and effective to send distant healing to a specific time, either past, present or at a future time that we are yet to arrive at. It works, I have been practising and teaching for 20 years.

Lieven Scheire’s performance taught me a very important lesson today. Spiritual Healing and Reiki are the tools of experience that Physics explains as theory. Wowzer indeed. Divine was on the edge of his seat, waiting for Lieven to say nothing travels faster than speed of light. Why?  Because there is something that travels faster than the speed of light. And that is love and healing. The 5th dimension that will never be worked out with mathematical equation. It is something that needs to be experienced. For it is the Muse, or the higher power. Or God! Well They Do Call Me Divine For a Reason. FIVE STARS

*****

Reviewer : Mark ‘Divine’ Calvert