Kings Theatre: Glasgow Comedy Festival
25 March 2016


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It’s not that Julian Clary isn’t a likeable chap. In fact, I requested this gig following sense of nostalgic endearment of seeing him back upon our screens in ‘Nature Nuts’. Sadly this was to turn out to be one of my poorer choices during the Glasgow Comedy Festival.
The intimate King’s Theatre (NB: Hosts around 1,000) is often a favourite venue for comics touring the UK without the scruffy, crumbling facilities some other places may offer or the hollow spaceship-evacuated arena that is the Glasgow Hydro. A throng of middle-aged ‘Hen Party’ types crammed into the seats while I settled myself behind a Bridget Jones-pants unveiling, opting not to spend the £1 binoculars hire on this occasion.
Whether it was coincidence or not, Clary stepped on to the stage with a mock-cover of Adele’s “Hello”; the Essex songstress who was entertaining the Hydro this very same evening. Resplendent in pink shimmering suit, Clary’s celebration of thirty years being a camp comedian was kicking off in Glasgow under the title “The Joy Of Mincing”. Recalling a tale of how he saved Dame Joan Collins’ life, Clary’s routine indulged itself in the effeminate style which the British public has come to love, savouring the spirit of ‘Fanny The Wonderdog’ (RIP Fanny nineteen years ago) and Clary’s recollections of being in full drag and trying crystal meth.
Clary stated that presently he is caught between two worlds – that of a children’s author and the other being the camp TV personality for which he is most familiar. Perhaps more revealing was the comedian’s disconnection from society, opting for a more rustic lifestyle in Kent countryside, writing books and frustratingly, not appearing on television quite so frequently since winning Big Brother 10 back in 2012. While Clary is the undisputed king of innuendo, this particular reviewer grew tired of such dialogue during a spurge of Adam Sandler films in the mid-noughties, and really ought to have known better than offer to review such a performance. A second innuendo-crammed cover of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” brought the first 40-minute set to a close.
One glittery-costume change later, Clary returned to regale stories of meeting with the monarchy at the Royal Variety Performance, and award his Mincer Of The British Empire medals out to members of the audience. It was at this point that Clary hit both the high-point and low-point of the evening. Rather than sticking to the rigid scripted format of his performance, this allowed the comic to loosen up and improvise on stage with a few unsuspecting patrons from the stalls. Silly costumes and amusing small-talk were a delight and demonstrated Clary’s personal touch at it’s very best. An unfortunate gag concerning one of his selected victims, who turned out to be a widower and not divorced as expected, clearly caught Clary off-guard and for the next ten minutes, there were a number of stammers and handkerchief-dabs of the sweated brow in an effort to regain composure.
It was a moment which knocked the comedian out his stride and never truly recaptured. Titters in the crowd remained, but at no point during the show were there any proper belly-laughs or structure to where the script was heading. Perhaps the comic’s gentle delivery just lacked any real punch or conviction, or indeed was as startling as when he first appeared on our screens in the mid-1980s. Instead, Clary closed with two more parodies of popular songs – Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” and Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett’s “Monster Mash”. The Lord of the mince skipped off stage, and was warmly applauded from his loyal fans. If only Clary knew that ‘mince’ means something else in Scotland.

Reviewer : Stephen Watt
One-hour Comedy shows are rather like corn sheaves; they are planted in the winter, show their first green shoots in the Spring, start creating the cornbuds in May & are ready for the golden harvest in August. In the same way, comedians will start their Edinburgh Fringe show rolling in March – at the Glasgow Comedy Festival – hone it down Brighton in May & then reveal it to the world at large, fully ripened, at the Edinburgh Fringe.

The compere, Rick Molland, was animated, sharp as a razor and flashed his sardonic smile often, which made him likeable (when he was looking at anyone else) but somewhat frightening (when his beady eye was leveled near a defenceless review writer). His style was tough, fast and decidedly un-PC so if you like your comedy sugar-coated then please stay home with a cup of cocoa and a slanket because he pulls no punches and will push the boundaries of what is considered savoury, as one poor, unsuspecting father-of-the-bride found out…I’m still cringing at the memory of it! His comic timing was excellent, as was his ability to constantly engage the audience and keep the pace trotting along nicely but this comes as no surprise since he is one of the most in demand comperes around, with extensive experience working at The stand, Breakneck Comedy and The Beehive. He has also gigged at T in The Park, Wickerman and Rockness festivals, and was runner up in the 2010 Scottish Comedy of the Year (despite being a Scouser) and makes his own films, to boot.

Jonny Thomson was third and very different to the others, a loveable, lanky bloke who has one of those faces that just makes you laugh instantly (and I mean that in the nicest possible way). His expressive features had us in stitches more than once and, after the audience members being mercilessly targeted by the compere already, it was a sigh of relief to sit back and enjoy his calm yet entertaining observations about the little things in life. He has a real knack for pointing out the obvious and making it seem very, very funny, with a particular focus on awkward and ridiculous social situations that we’ve all experienced (you know the ones- someone sits right next to you on the bus despite there being 50 other empty seats…cringeworthy but oh so real!). His style is quirky and unique, and his gentle humour reminds us that jokes don’t always have to go for the jugular in order to be funny. If the show were a meal he would be the soothing sorbet between the heavy courses.
The headline 4th act was Keir McAllister, a well known face on the Edinburgh comedy scene but one who burst forth out of absolutely nowhere and was a winner from the start. After a real-life stint as a born-again Christian he decided to change tack completely over a decade ago and entered a Jongleurs competition in Dundee, only to find himself the winner of both that and the next heat, in Glasgow, then found himself thrust into the limelight at the final in London (at the famous Criterion Cafe with hosts such as Jasper Carrott) where he came second. He has since had his ups and downs but has been a stalwart on the scene. His material ranged from the mundane to the ridiculous, with great audience interaction and banter, and covered all manner of things from sex to jogging to Scottish truisms, perfectly timing his swings between pure, Meldrewesque grumpiness and bright, boyish charm.






For their 5th Birthday the Monkey Barrel Comedy Club put on for our delectation four top Scottish comedians to celebrate – & a right do it was n’all. Fate had conspired to propel them into the Beehive Inn’s bigger function room – for the Stand was flooded that night, & so over a hundred of us found ourselves in a salubrious, velvety-curtained, victorian-wallpapered, smoking seated chamber, described by one of the comedians – Daniel Downie – as a cross between the Shining & the attic he was abused in as a child. The whole party was welded together by the beautiful Rick Molland, whose banter flowed freely with the stag party from Montrose, all sat at the front & all dressed up as Star Wars characters, including a Storm Trooper with a bumbag & the groom-to-be’s cuddly Jabba the Hut.
After the prize raffle draw for £10 in drinks – a really good touch to the proceedings – our headline act waltzes on stage. Growing up in the age of, as he so effervescently stated, ‘Celebrity Paedophiles,’ Gareth Waugh is a sound fella & witty as hell, who somehow has managed to convert his sexual awkwardness into comedy gold. The crowd loved him & I absolutely adored his facial expressions – a real subtle but highly effective addition to his comedy armory. He’s also a very informative performer, for I now know what the Australian terminology for a ginga is, & he has also put quite keenly into my mind’s eye one’s own ‘lap-dance face’ – which is similar to the cumface, only less distorted. He really was a perfect finish to a cracking evening & roll on the next 5 years, Monkey Barrel!!!
Perrier Comedy Award winner Sean Hughes approached the end of his Mumbo Jumbo tour as he visited The Old Fire Station Venue in Carlisle. His political satire combined with middle aged hindsight was fused with a humorous ad-lib candour delivered in what seemed to be an off the cuff comedic show. After just turning 50 Sean shares the wealth of his middle aged life experience with the middle aged audience where he discusses, “the kettle in the garden moments!” This is defined as the moment you are standing in the garden holding a kettle without an explanation of how you got there. The stand-up comic led the audience through a nostalgic trip of the sexual prowess of the 50 year old male by explaining that when a man is in his twenties he wants “fast sex against a skip.” However when you’re in your fifties you begin to look at life from a pragmatic perspective, “the skip looks cold, better wrap up” or “look at the microwave in there – I think it still works.” He tantalised the crowd by declaring, “At 50 my libido has gone, but I’m growing my own tits so it’s not all bad.”



